i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
(via seddiewarrior4life)
If someone has a phobia of something, dont do it to them
If someone has a phobia of something, dont do it to them
If someone has a phobia of something, dont do it to them
- If someone has a phobia of something, dont do it to them
- If someone has a phobia of something, dont do it to them
If someone has a phobia of something, dont do it to them
(Source: deducinghuntersinthetardis, via pickledpretzel)
He’s tripping on acid
I tried to scroll past
quick someone we need to neutralise it DROP THE BASE
(via seddiewarrior4life)
how to give a good handjob
- bop it
- pull it
- twist it
- harder
- better
- faster
- stronger
You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
(via revivemeonemoretime)
(Source: nowaclubpenguinblog, via honoryourforefathers)
they call me macklemore in math class because im like
what what what what what
what what what what what what what
what what what what
(via addictedforlifenolie)
how does she know that’s even aimed at her that is a public bathroom
She’s white.
The entire world is about her.
(Source: mores-ank-hex, via thediegomadlife)
This is the best usage of that gif I have ever seen.
(Source: milkpunk, via pickledpretzel)
Actually, that’s a common misconception. Cats kill animals and bring them to you because they think you’re a shitty hunter and they don’t want you to starve.
So it’s kind of love, but it’s mostly because you suck at catching food
I’m pretty sure “I don’t want you to starve” is the maximum level of love cats are able to give.
#this is why i love cats #they give you tongue bathes and bring you food because they think you’re a giant hairless cat that sucks at being a cat
(via pickledpretzel)
my grandma noticed i was upset so she handed me this spaghetti noodle with a loop in it I’m so happy
(via pickledpretzel)
foie:
- greet
- chat
- chat
- chat
- joke
- joke
- joke
- joke
- compliment appearance
- compliment personality
- flirt
- flirt
- flirt
- hug
- hug
- hug
- hug
- hug
- hug
- amorous hug
- amorous hug
- first kiss
- kiss
- kiss
- kiss
- make out
- make out
- make out
- make out
- woo-hoo
- woo-hoo
- woo-hoo
- propose
(via pickledpretzel)
(Source: bosstownsports, via hall-mark)
